but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
