Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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