my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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