the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is it penis luge time yet?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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