She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
how drunk are you?
Several
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
