Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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