Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
