I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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