Someone shit on the floor
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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