had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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