if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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