Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
