No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
