Ambien. No doubt about it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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