I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
