Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
