I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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