Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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