can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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