I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
