just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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