things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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