I can text with my tongue
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
