I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
