like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
