Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
