Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
