the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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