Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
