im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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