My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
