Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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