you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
