If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
