Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
