Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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