Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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