If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
