stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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