So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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