bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
