So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
