We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dear god my vagina.
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