Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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