Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
