but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
