Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
