I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
