I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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