I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Randomize
