Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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