You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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