let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
