i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
