Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
