R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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