i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
