Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
