I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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