Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
