Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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