the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
