Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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